True Lies: Uncovering Online Dating Deception

It’s every online dater’s nightmare: Walk into a bar, quick sweep of the room, nothing, a more careful survey, still nothing. Then someone walks up and says hello. You don’t recognize this person. Then it dawns on you. This is your date.

Prevention may not be possible, but you can be prepared. An April, 2007 Cornell University study revealed what both men and women are mostly likely to lie about in their online dating profiles. Participants were recruited from Match.com, Yahoo!Personals and American Singles in New York City. The final sample included 80 participants, equally divided between men and women. Height, weight and age were verified by researchers. Here’s what they found:

• Age: About 24% of both men and women lie about their age by a year or more when completing online dating profiles.
• Weight: Women are not the only guilty ones when it comes to understating weight. More than 60% of both men and women deducted five or more pounds from their weight.
• Height: Not an issue for women, over half of the men overstated their height by at least one half inch or more.

Researchers concluded the pattern of lies is frequent but slight, suggesting online daters are balancing their desire to appear attractive with a need to be honest. Many of these lies would not be detected by their dates.

There are other areas where online daters may try to hide the truth or simple deflect it. Take a closer look at online dating photos and learn how to spot some common tip-offs to deception:

• Dark glasses: This is usually a guy thing and the guy who wears sunglasses either doesn’t want to be recognized (Wife? Girlfriend?) or is unattractive. Either way, next.
• Baseball cap: Again, this usually applies to guys. He’s probably losing his hair and feels insecure. It’s the insecurity that may be an issue, not the hair loss.
• Distant photo next to a car, in a plane or on a boat: Maybe if your attention is drawn to his expensive toy, you won’t notice him. Next.

The solution? Complete your online dating profile accurately and post current photos of yourself. Expect the same of your dates.